Good news/bad news. Which do you want first?

I said the bad news. Dr said how about the good news first? I was like, nope I want the bad news first thanks. Of course I got the good news.
Ct scan results are back after todays tests. Still in remission, whoo hoo! Tumors are just about all gone, one in my belly that is at 3cm and that's about it.
Great.
What's the bad news?
Oh there is a golf ball sized blood clot in your heart. And we already have a room waiting for you at the hospital. Head there now.
So there is this golf ball in something that is the size of my fist. Sitting at Siani, admitted and waiting. Laying in a bed that is got air in it so each time I move it inflates and deflates automatically. Annoying as hell.
Got to Siani, a wonderful hospital I might add. People here are awesome. Drs are completely on top of this. And apparently I am interesting and causing all kinds of attention and interest from all the doctors.
So when I arrived I was lead to my private room with a view. Nurses came to whisk me away to get scans. Of course the scan with the huge golf ball was enough to cause a stir so the nurses called the dr in with "you have got to see this".
So they are pretty sure it's a clot and pretty sure it's not fully attached so there are two options.... And tomorrows scope will determine what happens.
Tomorrow I will be put to sleep, a scope down my throat and they will see from the inside what is happening. If its a clot and its attached pretty well to the wall then I will sit here and continue to get blood thinners (which is happening now) then go home and have to give myself injections twice a day for 3 months or so.
But if its loose which is what the scans today seemed to point to then they will have to do open heart surgery to remove it.
But hey my cancer is gone and that's pretty damn cool. :)

It's been a long day. Xoxoxo

Answers tomorrow

sorry for the delay, people keep asking... here is all i have....

Tomorrow, hospital first thing for scans and blood work and dr appt to discuss going forward or stopping. Looking forward to those blood numbers since i have been busy traveling i have missed some blood tests, hopefully things are good. I feel great, not tired or weak, i feel just fine. Actually I have been having a little too much fun ... :)

I have set myself up mentally for this being my last chemo, refusing the actual last one not to mention the follow ups for the next year... no way im doing that. I guess the scans will determine the decision and the call to hopkins. Skipping on the bone marrow thing for now, my friend whos a dr at hopkins says i have time to wait so not to rush it.

chemo Thursday and Friday.... blah.

Remission and Decision

So a few weeks ago I was scanned and had a bone marrow test. Scans showed no active cancer, nodes are shrinking and all the doctors and nurses are so happy. Bone marrow showed no cancer in either side. This is amazing news! To go from stage 4 to remission in 2 treatments is unbelievable. It should have taken at least 6 months to a year. This cancer med study is amazing, the doctors and nurses are calling me all the time getting updates, blood work weekly, constant attention and love from all the Dr's and nurses here. My family, friends, bosses and work family are all so great keeping my attitude in the right place, making life and work fun... so I rocked this just like I rock everything else...with amazing awesomeness. :)

so that whole "too good to be true" thing hits right about now.

NH Follicular Lymphoma almost always returns. Dr's don't have to deal with this often because the people normally getting this type of cancer are 60,70,80 years old, so they die of natural causes  before it can return again. But since I'm 33 this cancer can return 1-2 times before I die. It could come back next year, 5 years, 10 years... no one knows. I have read about young people getting it back 3 times in 6 years after being in remission, and I have read about people that have been in remission for over 20 years with no signs of it returning.

So my Dr and I had a chat. First of all I have to keep going and complete my 6 treatments. I'm sitting thru #4 right now. In 35 more days I get another and 35 after that the last one of this mission.

Then the decision.
Option one. Continue with chemo after the 6th treatment, but this would be every 70 days and would run into Jan 2014. But this only continues the treatment I have been getting to be sure there are no cancer cells hiding and waiting to grow. This option does not cure the cancer forever just treats what I had in hopes it does not return.

Option two. "Hopkins Bone Marrow transplant" After my #6 treatment i would get a dose of chemo 10 times the power i have been receiving. Losing my hair most likely that day, killing just about everything inside of me including my bone marrow. Sitting in Hopkins for 2 weeks waiting for my blood counts to go up. Opening me up to all kinds of issues. Then after my blood counts come back up I would get a bone marrow transplant, from either a donor or my cleaned marrow that would be taken before the insane dose of killer chemo gets delivered.
It was put to me honestly and nicely... "if I don't die from an infection in the hospital in two weeks, I could die from the bleeding out during the transplant and or infection from the surgery not to mention chance for a rejection." The risk of death is somewhat small BUT if I died from something dumb when i could have maybe lived for 20 years cancer free, that would be a huge waste. Plus this option I would be out of commission for 2 months, we ALL know i CANT sit still that long.

I am a great candidate for this option and it would make it so i never get this type of cancer ever again. However the risks of infection and death are a little to high for me and dying this summer is just not in my schedule. I have WAY too much fun to have.

So I am doing option one, chemo until '14. the every 70 days thing is good. If it comes back I will start again and they rethink the bone marrow thing.

I feel amazing, other than being extra sleepy in the morning.  I am working out at the gym, running, traveling, still working and I am managing my chemo brain far better now. Things are good.

So we will keep going with the same.

Sitting here getting chemo now. Dad is reading. Sun is shining. Its going to be a good life, I can feel it. This cancer BS just makes me stronger.
xoxo B

Great chemo day

Day 1 treatment 3
Completed :)
3 doses of Benadryl no allergic reaction this time from chemo. Very happy about that. They had it dripping at 400 which is great and I got done faster. Home by 430. :)
Dad and Becky were great company, loved having them visit!
Feeling great tonight!
Happy valentines day ❤❤❤

Amazing news!

I had my pet/ct scans this morning. Dr just called with the report! The tumors are shrinking! The largest one was 14.1cm is now down to 2.7 cm. the others are smaller as well. The cancer looks inactive is most of the nodes! Dr was so excited and shocked how quickly I'm responding to this treatment. Apparently I am amazing. :)
Words can not explain how excited I am right now. Wow, huge sigh of relief.
Chemo Thursday and Friday. Then hopefully with all these amazing results I can stop chemo soon. Fingers crossed.
Xoxoxoxoxo

Rocking this!

I am SOOO rocking this chemo thing now. I feel totally normal, I have all my strength back, I feel amazing. I even look normal. :) And my hair is growing really fast so I assume its here to stay.
Started working out again, and it feels so good. Im thinking a super cute bikini might be a nice purchase soon, come on summer!
February should be awesome, more scans on 2/11 to see if the tumors are shrinking, bone marrow to see if its out of my bones yet (fingers crossed) then chemo on Valentines day. <3

Recovery weekend

Did ok this weekend, nothing like last month. Everything is annoying me though, so nothing new. Ha! Back in hospital this am getting fluids. That's about it. Well if this is all there is I think I will be just fine. However stuff smells funny and that's making me nuts. I just want to get back to work.